Meet the Dragon
by SweetDeamon
Summary: In which Dora Lupin believes that her morning couldn't possibly get any worse. And in which a certain unexpected visitor to the Lupin household proves her oh so very wrong... AU. RLNT. TLOC friendship.


_Note: This story is set just before Meet the Witch. Prepare yourself for utter silliness, dear readers, and have a sterling weekend along with it!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

**Meet the Dragon**

As the alarm clock upon the bedside table rang shrilly in her ears, Dora Lupin's face contorted and she groaned at such a rude awakening, reaching blindly sideways to slam a hand down upon the clock.

She missed.

Gritting her teeth against the assault on her eardrums the Deputy Head of Aurors tried again, and succeeded in sending the alarm clock flying off the table and onto the floor with a crash.

The dreadful ringing stopped and once again silence descended upon the bedroom.

Dora set about shifting further down under the duvet, ready to dose off to sleep again when a voice from beside her mumbled:

"Dora...?"

She tried to ignore it.

"Dora?"

She buried her face in her pillow and pretended she was deaf.

"Dora, don't go back to sleep."

_Don't go back to sleep?! _

Dora rolled over to offer her husband beside her the most indignant look she could muster, only for the whole movement to become entirely pointless for Remus Lupin's eyes were still shut tight.

"It's seven o'clock in the morning, Remus!" Dora reminded him, unable to hide her horror. "And I've been on NIGHT SHIFT!"

"Sleep is overrated, darling." the werewolf informed her sleepily.

Dora rather wanted to hex him, then, but then he recalled:

"That's what you told me last night."

The metamorphmagus sighed heavily and then grumbled:

"Be quiet!" As she reached to fling the covers back, sliding her feet towards the edge of the bed, she muttered: "It feels like it _still is_ last night..."

Dora had been dreading this week for the past month, ever since Head of Aurors Harry Potter had summoned her into his office at the Ministry to proudly announce:  
"We've got him, Tonks! We've actually got him!"

"Excellent!" Dora had said as she flopped down into the chair opposite. "That's...good..."

And Harry had given a huff and observed:

"You have no idea who I'm talking about, do you?"

And Dora had briefly considered lying before realising that she had considered for a second too long because Harry had started to roll his eyes.

"No, I don't." she had consented to admitting, and Harry had wondered:

"For Merlin's sake, Tonks! Where have you been for the past bloody month?!"

"Well I was only back at work a few days before I had a week of sick leave after the fun and games in Swansea, then when I got back I was on light duties for a few days. Then I was preparing for Jasmine's disciplinary hearing and catching up on YOUR paperwork..."

"Yes, yes, alright! Travers, Tonks! We've got Travers! We've got him cornered!"

According to Harry, after many years of combing the country for signs of his whereabouts, the location of former Death Eater Joseph Travers had finally been confirmed as a crowded corner of the East End of London. The house in question, a tiny two-up-two-down in a busy muggle street, was to be put under surveillance for a week, so as best to determine a strategy for Travers' capture, and Dora was to supervise...

"...the night shifts."

Dora had simply stared.

After a long pause she had manage to utter:

"What...all of them?"

"That's right." Harry agreed, nodding his head firmly. "Meanwhile, I'll be supervising the day shifts and Ron will be stepping in to run the office."

And Dora had sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to squash the urge to complain:_ first you make __me do all of your bloody paperwork for you, and now this_, and instead settled on a distinctly unenthusiastic:

"Marvellous."

"We'll pay you overtime, obviously." Harry had told her brightly, before admitting: "Naturally I was going to ask Xander to take half of the week for you, since he's senior enough, but he hasn't closed that last case over in Bristol yet..."

Dora hadn't really been listening after the first sentence, at the mention of a few extra galleons in her vault which had grown worryingly barren in recent months, she had shaken her head and insisted:

"No, it's fine, I'll do it!"

And to her horror Harry had grinned widely and exclaimed:

"Great! Are you still up for Al's birthday party going ahead like we planned?"

At the time, Dora had failed to think about this question for more than half a second, and had cracked a grin herself and told him:

"Of course we are! I told Remus about it last night, he says he'll tidy up the garden specially!"

Bloody hell, Dora mused despairingly as she stumbled off towards the landing, Albus' birthday party...!

With a team of builders currently taking over the kitchen and several other rooms at the Potters' house, Harry and Ginny had concluded that throwing their younger son a birthday party amidst such chaos would be by no means sensible. Upon hearing Harry bemoaning the situation at work some while back, Dora had, on a whim, announced that they could have a party at her house instead. After all, she had pointed out, as young Albus' godparents, it was probably about time she and Remus came to Harry's rescue.

When agreeing that the party could go ahead, Dora had failed to take into account the fact that she would be working through the night beforehand...

Seven nights beforehand...

She should have said no.

Why in Merlin's name hadn't she said no?!

They should have had a party at the Burrow. There was more room there, after all...

Bloody hell...

No indeed, throwing a children's birthday party was by no means the sort of thing Dora Lupin wanted to do after just three hours sleep and an entire week of night shifts. And as she shuffled past her son's bedroom door the Auror let out a sigh at the thought that the situation was in fact even worse than it first appeared.

For she had arrived home the previous morning, ready to head to bed, to be ambushed at the front door by a blur of turquoise and some flailing pigtails.

As she watched her son and the girl next door stand, bouncing up and down excitedly before her, for a brief moment Dora simply felt exhausted by the sight of them, before she had wondered:

"Ted, it's seven o'clock in the morning, what in Merlin's name is Carrie doing here?"

"We're going to Diagon Alley!" Teddy half-shouted, throwing his hands up in the air in excitement, as Carrie nodded enthusiastically, and Dora had reached to rub a weary hand across her eyes.

"Right...where's Dad?" she wondered as the two children continued to fidget excitedly, and the witch felt bemused when Carrie informed her soberly:

"Remus is in bed."

"I heard him last night!" Teddy had announced dramatically, before reaching to stick a couple of his fingers in his mouth, before making a disgusting vomiting sound that made Carrie's nose wrinkle in disgust.

"He's not very well." Carrie informed the werewolf's wife rather unnecessarily in case Dora hadn't quite got the message, and Dora let out a huff of resignation and made a beeline for the stairs.

"Ted, go and tidy the kitchen!" she snapped irritably over her shoulder, only for the boy to cry:

"But Ginny'll be here any minute to take us to Diagon Alley!"

"It's seven o'clock in the bloody morning, Theodore! Go and tidy the kitchen!"

Upon entering the bedroom she had discovered Remus sat up in bed reading that morning's Daily Prophet, looking distinctly off colour but otherwise in good cheer. As she had flopped down onto the bed beside him he had proceeded to inform her that she had seemingly forgotten their arrangement with Carrie's parents that the girl stay the night whilst Mr. and Mrs. Winters were away visiting friends up north. He had then explained that since he was under the weather, nothing more than a bad sandwich at the Leaky Cauldron the previous day he suspected, Ginny had offered to take Teddy and Carrie to Diagon Alley with her whilst she did some last minute shopping for Albus' party the next day.

And so it was that as she descended the stairs Dora found herself musing that not only did she have a party to organise, she also had a second child around to get in the way whilst she did so.

Merlin...

She needed a cup of tea!

Dora shuffled down the hallway towards the kitchen door, reaching to adjust her dressing gown around her as she went, and yawned widely as she reached to push the door open. It swung back on its hinges with a creak and the Auror had taken the smallest of steps across the threshold before the sight that met her eyes made her freeze in her tracks...

There, sat upon the kitchen table, peering at her over the rim of a large cardboard box was a...

Baby dragon.

A baby dragon. Sitting on her kitchen table.

An actual baby dragon.

Dora stared at it in complete and utter astonishment.

The dragon stared back, apparently equally as shocked.

It was a small, rather delicate looking creature covered in muddy-coloured scales, with parchment thin wings and dark, glinting eyes...

Dora slowly reached down into the pocket of her dressing gown to extract her wand, ready to...what? She wasn't really sure. She wasn't even sure there really was a real life dragon sitting upon her kitchen table staring at her. After all, it seemed more likely that she was imagining things...

Because it couldn't really be there, could it? How in Merlin's name would a baby dragon just appear out of nowhere?!

Where the bloody hell had it come from?!

Dora found herself taking a rather uncertain step forward...

Quick as a flash, the dragon let out a high-pitched little shriek of alarm at the movement, and with that it sucked in a deep breath before thrusting its little head forward, jaws snapping open...

A disproportionately large jet of roaring fire came shooting through the air towards her and Dora was forced to leap backwards, grasping hold of the door handle in order to slam the kitchen door shut. Gasping in a breath in alarm, her heart instantly hammering in her chest the Auror slumped sideways until she was leaning against the hallway wall, staring at the door with eyes as wide as snitches. She took a long moment to attempt to unravel the confused muddle of events that had just come to pass and, when clarity continued to elude her, she turned on her heel and made a run for the stairs, bellowing:

"REMUS?! THERE'S A BLOODY DRAGON IN THE KITCHEN!"

Confronted with this information a handful of seconds later as he slowly heaved himself up into a sitting position in bed, Remus Lupin's expression was distinctly disbelieving.

"A...what?" he managed, frowning deeply as behind his wife two pyjama-clad children appeared in the bedroom doorway. Teddy was forced to duck when Dora swung an arm round to point towards the stairs, insisted:

"A dragon, Remus! A baby dragon!"

"There's a baby dragon in the kitchen?!" Teddy cried excitedly, clapping his hands together in excitement as beside him Carrie glanced rather nervously towards the stairs.

"Of course there isn't!" Remus said, reaching to run a weary hand through his hair, only for Dora's eyes to widen quite madly as she demanded to know:

"You think I'm making it up?!"

"This is so cool!" Teddy announced, turning to bound off towards the stairs, Carrie simply staring after him, fiddling with the hem of her striped pink pyjama top.

"Don't go down there!" Dora snapped, lurching backwards to grasp hold of Teddy by the arm. "It's a dragon, Teddy! It's not a bloody pet!"

Despite this, Teddy was quick to inquire:

"Can we keep him? Or her? Is it a him or a her?"

"Sweet Merlin..." his father muttered as he reached to throw the duvet back from his lap. As he got to his feet he insisted: "There's no baby dragon in the kitchen, Dora! How can there be? I've never heard anything more ridiculous in my entire life..."

And with that he slipped into his slippers and made a beeline for the landing, squeezing past the others to lead the way down the stairs, Teddy bounding impatiently along behind him, with Dora and a distinctly reluctant Carrie bringing up the rear.

They trooped down the stairs and down the hallway to the kitchen door, and despite Dora's muttered warning that the creature in question appeared to be somewhat bad-tempered, Remus reached to push open the door without so much as a moment of hesitation...

Teddy had barely risen up on his tiptoes to attempt to peer into the room, and Carrie had barely moved to take refuge behind Dora before the werewolf had reached to slam the door shut again, cutting off an odd growling sound from within the room.

There was a very long pause as, just like Dora before him, Remus simply stood, staring at the door, before he slowly turned to face the trio behind him, reaching to fold his arms firmly across his chest.

"Theodore," the ex-professor said quietly, gaze upon his son distinctly piercing. "What precisely was it that you spent your pocket money on in Diagon Alley yesterday afternoon?"

Teddy's expression grew instantly bemused.

"Are you trying to ask me if I _bought a baby dragon_?"

"Well it didn't just appear there of its own accord, did it?" Dora pointed out, also folding her arms across her chest as she went to stand next to Remus, turning to eye Teddy and Carrie questioningly as Teddy burst out laughing.

"Oh come on, Mum! We're not Hagrid, for goodness sake! We're not that stupid, are we Carrie?!"

As Teddy turned to join in his parents' staring at the muggle, Carrie Winters' cheeks flushed pink and she glanced down at her bare feet, shifting them awkwardly.

There was a long pause before Dora muttered:

"Oh bloody hell..._really_...?!"

"I...I didn't...I didn't know it was a...a _dragon_..." Carrie mumbled guiltily as Dora reached to clamp a hand across her mouth to stem the series of furious expletives that were threatening to expel themselves from her mouth. As Teddy burst out laughing, his father straightened up somewhat as he informed the boy:

"This is no laughing matter, Theodore! It's extremely serious!"

"But how could she not know it was a dragon?!" Teddy laughed, much to Carrie's embarrassment, and the muggle was quick to reason:

"It wasn't a dragon when I got it, it was a...a...an egg!"

"Oh, well then!" Dora muttered, forced to turn away to stop herself scowling too much, and Remus asked:

"Where precisely did you get this..._egg_, Carrie?"

"In George's shop." Carrie said, sounding somewhat triumphant as if this all somehow made it alright, only for Dora to echo:

"In George's shop?!"

"Surely not..."

"It's highly illegal to sell dragon eggs, Carrie! As if George would have one lying around...it's not exactly joke shop material..."

"But it's true!" Carrie insisted, face growing steadily pinker. "I did! We...we went in and...and Teddy told George it was going to be my birthday, so...so George said I could...I could have anything I wanted! And...and I found a cardboard box by the store room and there was an egg inside and I thought...I just thought...well it looked pretty and...and I thought maybe it might...do something fun...we were in a rush...James was...was throwing a tantrum..."

"Merlin, Carrie..." Dora muttered, slumping sideways to lean against the wall. "How many times?! Don't go messing around with magical stuff if you have no idea what it is or how it works!"

"But it was in George's shop..."

"Well then, you should be more careful! How in Merlin's name he passes half of that stuff through Ministry regulation is beyond me..." Turning to Remus she suggested: "We'd better owl the Ministry, send for the Magical Creatures' lot..."

"And tell them what, precisely?" Remus said, staring at her in disbelief. "They'll want to know where it came from! They'll come down on George like a ton of bricks!"

"This is ridiculous..." Dora grumbled, reaching to rake a hand through her hair and beginning to pace up and down the hallway. "If we don't get the Ministry involved...I mean...what the bloody hell are we going to do with a baby dragon?!"

"We should owl Uncle Charlie!" Teddy suggested as Carrie gave a miserable sniff, but his father shook his head.

"I don't think we've time to wait for Charlie...he's all the way in Romania and the dragon's already trashed half of the kitchen..."

"Since when did baby dragons breathe so much fire, anyway?!" Dora complained, and when her husband merely offered her a helpless shrug she reached to roll up the sleeves of her dressing gown, deciding: "Well standing around here isn't going to do any good! I'm going to floo George..."

"Don't hex him!" Remus called after her as she marched off down the hallway towards the sitting room, and to her son's amusement the Auror called:

"Sorry, didn't catch that, love!"

Remus squeezed his eyes shut against further protest, before sighing heavily.

"Don't cry, Carrie." the werewolf murmured to the snivelling muggle as he headed for the study door at Teddy's side. "I'm sure we'll...think of something..."

Carrie promptly burst into tears.

As Teddy patted her rather gingerly on the arm, his father set about scanning the bookshelves, pulling out books and tossing them down upon the desk.

"Come in here, both of you." he instructed briskly as he reached the end of one shelf and started on another. "Pick a book and get reading..."

"What're we looking for?" Teddy asked as he bounded into the room, leaving Carrie to stare into the room, watery eyes distinctly blank at the notion.

"Anything useful regarding dragons, dragon keeping, that sort of thing...I've no idea how we're going to move it safely...this one here might be a good place to start..." As he dumped another book onto the pile, Remus glanced back into the hallway, insisting: "Come on, Carrie!"

Carrie reached to swipe a sleeve across her eyes with a sniff.

"I d...don't know anything about...about dragons..."

"You don't need to know anything about dragons, Carrie, you need to be able to _read_ about dragons." Remus reached to pull out the chair from behind the desk with a smile, reaching to tap the back of the chair as he offered the muggle a smile. "Come on, come and sit down. I'm going to set some protective wards. The last thing we need is an escaped baby dragon wandering through the neighbours' back gardens..."

"Setting fire to their garden fences and roaring at the garden gnomes!"

"Exactly, Ted."

"Is it normal, Dad? For a baby dragon to be so...aggressive?" Teddy asked as he flipped through the index of one book, and as Remus passed Carrie in the doorway he admitted:

"I think it terribly unconventional, Teddy."

"Maybe it's an adult dragon that got struck by a shrinking hex!"

"If we could simply shrink fully grown dragons and hide them in cardboard boxes, Theodore, I imagine Charlie Weasley would find himself out of a job very quickly indeed!"

Meanwhile, George Weasley was stood before the fireplace in his living room, wringing his hands together in a distinctly guilty fashion as he gazed down at the murderous looking face scowling up at him from the emerald fires in the grate.

"Ah..." the owner of Wizarding Britain's most popular joke shop began rather uncertainly, reaching to scratch his head. "Yes...about that, Tonks..."

"Well?!" the Deputy Head of Aurors snapped, leaving sparks to spit out of the fire causing George to shuffle back a step. "What've you got to say for yourself?!"

"I...probably shouldn't have just left it lying around..." George confessed rather sheepishly, only for Dora to cry:

"Probably?!"

"What's going on in there, George?!" a voice from the kitchen next door called, and as he glanced rather worriedly over his shoulder, George called rather uncertainly:

"Oh nothing, Angie!"

"I'm telling you now, George Weasley," Dora ground out through gritted teeth. "If you were to see the state of my kitchen right now you would know that it isn't _nothing_ in the slightest!"

"Shouldn't you be off shouting at Ginny instead?" George suggested hopefully. "She let Carrie bring it home with her, after all..."

"It was in YOUR shop! Where the bloody hell did it come from, anyway?!"

George sighed heavily, folding his arms defensively across his chest.

"Look," he said as Dora continued to scowl at him. "It isn't what it looks like, honestly..."

"Oh come on, George!"

"It's true, it isn't! You haven't contacted the Ministry, have you? They'd empty half my bloody vault in fines and Angelina would kill me..."

"Quite frankly I was all for ratting on you..."

"Seriously?! Tonks, come on!"

"...but Remus pointed out it would probably ruin you! You'd have the Magical Creatures lot raiding the shop and all sorts..."

"The magical creatures lot?"

"Yes, George! It's a bloody dragon! Who did you think I was going to snitch to, the Department of Magical Transportation for the improper use of a bloody cardboard box?!"

To Dora's annoyance, George promptly burst out laughing.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Tonks! You don't think it's a REAL dragon, do you?" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together in amusement, and the Auror felt an abrupt and forceful urge to resort to some form of violence.

"The singe marks all over the kitchen door look pretty bloody real to me!" she pointed out furiously, and George glanced over his shoulder cautiously for a moment before dropping into a crouch before the fireplace, grinning broadly.

"Actually it was going to be part of our new summer range!" he informed the witch proudly. "I've been working on it for the past few months..." his brow creased into a deep frown as he admitted: "But there have been a few...safety issues, you might say..."

"Oh?!"

"Yes, well...obviously it isn't supposed to spit fire all over the place quite like that...it was just supposed to be...a few sparks, you know? To make people jump...totally harmless! I...I don't know how that box got out onto the shop floor, it wasn't supposed to leave the workshop, let alone get mixed up with the other stock!"  
Dora stared at him for a long moment as she allowed this information to sink in, before she informed him bluntly:

"Next time Teddy asks to go to a joke shop, I'm taking him to bloody Zonko's!"

"That's a bit harsh!" George protested, face contorting in offence, and the Auror gave a remorseless huff and told him:

"Come and get that wretched thing out of my kitchen, for Merlin's sake! Everybody's supposed to be coming over for Al's birthday this afternoon!"

"It'll be fine!" George insisted, sounding only marginally confident. "We'll just...you know..."

"We'll just what?!"

"...well...you know..."

"No I bloody don't!"

George sniggered.

"What's the matter, Tonks?" he said with a grin. "Is the Deputy Head of Aurors about to be out-witted by a enchanted miniature mechanical dragon?"

Despite being surrounded by crackling emerald fire, Dora's hair managed to darken to an impressively vibrant shade of scarlet.

"Right!" she muttered. "That is IT!"

"That's what?" George asked, suddenly apprehensive, and he visibly paled when the Auror snapped:

"Bugger trying to capture it or anything, I'm going to blast it into smithereens..."

"No!"

"No faffing around..."

"Tonks...don't!"

"Why not?!"

"Don't destroy it! It's...it's...do you have any idea how long I spent working on it?!"

"No, but you said yourself it's gone wrong..."

"Yes but...but..."

"Listen George," Dora informed the red haired wizard bluntly. "I don't give a toss how long it took you to make it, I'm not going to run around trying to catch it without damaging it just so it can trash the kitchen some more in the process! I've had three hours sleep, I've been on night shift for the past week, Remus is feeling sick and by the time I get back I'll probably find Carrie in hysterical tears curled up on the rug before the bloody fireplace! And what's more, I've got Al's birthday to sort out!"

And with that, the witch's head disappeared from the fireplace in a burst of emerald sparks. No sooner had she gone, George made a mad grab for the floo powder...

And so it was that Teddy Lupin and Carrie Winters abruptly abandoned their research when there came the distinct sound of somebody exiting the Floo Network, and followed a mere moment later by a second...

Stomping footsteps sounded in the hallway and the two children looked up to see a scarlet-haired Dora come storming past the study's entrance, a shrill voice behind her pleading:  
"Tonks! DON'T!"

And as Teddy made a dash for the doorway, Carrie leaping to her feet and hurrying after him, George Weasley came bolting down the hallway after the Auror, only to skid to a halt as Dora reached to fling the kitchen door open wide, taking furious aim with her wand...

The unwanted houseguest gave such an alarmed jump out of its makeshift cardboard home that Dora's spell of choice missed it by several inches, and the mechanical little monster promptly turned, flinging itself up into the air, sweeping its wings wide as it swept towards the kitchen window.

Outside the window, poised to finish casting a string of protective wards, Remus froze, eyes growing wide as the dragon came shooting towards the glass, only to smash straight through it with an almighty crash, leaving Remus to throw himself to the ground to avoid a collision, wincing at the smashed glass that rained down from above him. As the werewolf dared to look up half a second later, as back inside the house Dora, George, Teddy and Carrie all dashed towards the window to see the dragon go soaring up into the air, making a beeline for the tree at the bottom of the garden.

"Shit..." George muttered, tugging worriedly at his hair, only for Dora to shove him out of the way as she raced for the back door, finding that Remus had sealed it firmly shut.

"Remus!" the witch shouted as outside her husband scrambled back onto his feet, trying his best to avoid the broken glass upon the patio. "Blast it out the sky!"

"Are you mad?" George asked as the witch gave the back door a frustrated kick. "Have you seen how fast it is?! He'd never hit it..."

At that precise moment down the bottom of the garden, the mechanical menace had gasped in a deep, exaggerated breath and within the blink of an eye an enormous burst of flame had shot through the air...

And in an instant, the tree at the bottom of the garden was on fire.

"Now can I call the bloody Ministry?!" Dora shrieked furiously as Remus instantly pelted down the garden to douse the flames with water, and George reached to snatch his wand from his pocket. Together, he and Dora set about breaking through the wards that Remus had set mere minutes earlier.

"Where's it gone?" Carrie wondered as she and Teddy leaned to peer out of the shattered window, only to spot the dragon swooping back up the garden. It flew up towards the roof, settling beside the chimney, and as George and Dora finally managed to wrench open the back door, dashing out onto the patio, the children close behind them, George was relieved to observe:

"It seems to be calming down..."

Indeed for a long moment that did seem to be the case, for the artificial animal was climbing carefully across the roof tiles, pausing every so often to sniff at a stray clump of moss...

A distinctly uncertain sense of calm began to descend over the Lupins' back garden as over by the tree Remus managed to smother the last of the flames, only for a voice from over the fence to call:

"Goodness me! Is everything alright?!"

"Oh Merlin..." Dora muttered as she spotted their muggle neighbour come hurrying down her own garden path...what was her name? Dora couldn't even remember, she only really bothered to speak to the Winters' who lived on the other side...

She was a middle-aged lady with greying auburn hair and she appeared to be wearing a pair of yellow rubber gloves whilst brandishing a dripping soapy mop. She had a husband, Dora recalled, and some grown up children who had probably moved out...or at least Dora hoped they had. The last thing they needed right now were more muggle spectators...

"Good morning, Mrs. Gregson..." Remus greeted, attempting to fix a suitably innocent expression upon his face, and the housewife came to an abrupt halt, her eyes wide in horror as she looked up at the singed branches, and as the werewolf reached to adjust the wand that he had just reached to shove out of sight in the back pocket of his trousers, she exclaimed:

"What on earth happened?!"

"Oh it's...it's nothing, really..." Remus began, only for George to suggest loudly:

"It was a stray firework!"

"A stray firework?!" Mrs. Gregson echoed, sounding distinctly appalled. "At this time of morning?!"

"Yes..." Remus agreed, giving an impressively bad-tempered huff. "I...I do keep telling my son..." casting a glance towards the boy in question he called: "Fireworks are not toys, Theodore!"

"No, they are extremely dangerous!" Mrs. Gregson agreed, sounding quite appalled at Teddy's apparent behaviour, and Dora promptly agreed:

"Yes, you could have lost a finger, Ted! The window's smashed to pieces! And...and just look at the state of the tree! If Dad hadn't been there..."

"With the garden hose!" George put in helpfully.

"...who knows what might have happened!" Dora chanced a worried glance up to the roof, eyes widening a little when she found that the dragon appeared to be steadily crawling its way towards Mrs. Gregson's chimney. "Come on!" the witch demanded, reached to seize bother her son and Carrie by the arms. "I've...I've had quite enough of the pair of you! Now...now go to your room, Ted!"

And with that, as Remus launched into a deeply apologetic speech about how ghastly children were, the others all rushed back inside, Dora leading a sprinting charge towards the stairs as she squeaked:

"It's climbing up next door's bloody roof!"

Squeezed into the attic room a moment later, peering in consideration out of the little window up towards the roof in question, Dora and George exchanged a glance before the witch announced:

"Well, there's nothing else for it, George. You'll just have to climb out of the window and up onto the roof..."

"Me?"

"Yes, you! You got us into this bloody mess, you can damn well get us out of it!"

"Carrie brought it here, not me!" George pointed out, and Carrie instantly leapt backwards, face growing white as she cried:

"I'm not climbing out there!"

The adults ignored her.

"Hurry up, George!" Dora insisted as she reached to push open the window, stepping aside to let George past. "Before it causes any more damage!"

With a resigned sigh, George pocketed his wand and slowly set about climbing out of the window, wincing in his attempts to fit his tall frame through the small opening.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Gregson had bid Remus a non too cheerful good morning and had disappeared back into her house, proceeding upstairs to her bedroom, whereupon she pushed open the window and set about scrubbing the window sill clean with a sponge and soapy water. As she worked she was entirely unaware that mere meters above her a tall man with ginger hair was edging agonisingly along the roof of her house, watched by a mechanical dragon that was perched upon a chimney pot...

George Weasley was beginning to suspect that all of this was no laughing matter. Which made it decidedly serious, he mused, because quite frankly George could laugh at almost anything...

He edged closer and closer to his creation and it eyed him with mild interest as he stopped just short of it, before reaching carefully into his pocket to draw his wand...

The dragon sneezed.

George jumped as sparks spat from its nostrils and before he could so much as gasp he found himself hurtling backwards off of the roof, gritting his teeth in panic...

An invisible force yanked him up by the ankle, only for him to flop down before an upstairs bedroom window, whereupon the muggle within gave a shriek of shock, knocking soapy water all over the floor.

As he dangled upside down in front of the window, George Weasley attempted to offer the shocked Mrs. Gregson a friendly smile.

"Good morning, Mrs. Gregson!" he greeted cheerfully as Mrs. Gregson flung the soapy sponge to the floor and stepped back up to the window, eyes wide in horror. So shocked was she that she seemed unable to think of something to say, settling on a rather uncertain:

"G...good morning Mr...um..."

"Weasley." George provided pleasantly, trying to ignore the horrible sensation of blood rushing to his head. "George Weasley, Mrs. Gregson! Pleasure to meet you!" And with that, the wizard reached out an upside-down hand for the muggle to shake.

Mrs. Gregson did not return the gesture.

"What on earth are you doing on my roof?!" she asked, beginning to sound furious, and George sucked in a deep, considering breath, deciding:

"Oh it's a...a funny story, really..."

He wondered why Tonks had failed to hoist him back up onto the roof having no doubt managed to draw her wand fast enough to stop his fall. He felt an odd mixture of gratitude and annoyance.

"Well?!" Mrs. Gregson demanded, eyes bulging furiously, and George decided:

"It's Ted again, I'm afraid Mrs. Gregson. He um...he threw a...a frisbee! It's just up here and I was...was retrieving it!"

Mrs. Gregson did not appear to think this a funny story in the slightest.

"Honestly!" the muggle exclaimed, no doubt about to launch into a furious speech, only for her expression to grow yet more furious when George found himself cutting her off mid-sentence. Dora had finally seen fit to hoist him back up towards the roof.

"Well...have a wonderful day, Mrs. Gregson!" George called, wincing as he grazed a knee against the roof tiles above. "Lovely weather we've been having, isn't it?!"

He was deposited back upon the roof with a thud and a bump to the head, and at that moment George realised that he wanted that infernal dragon blasted to smithereens just as much as Dora did...

Now...where was it?

Looking around wildly, George found that the dragon appeared to be nowhere in sight...

"Tonks?!" George hissed, scrambling back towards the window where he found Remus had joined the others peering out the window at him. "Where did it go?!"

Dora opened her mouth to respond, only for Carrie to pipe up:

"Can anybody else smell..._burning_?"

At the sight of smoke rising from the front of the house, George scrambled back inside and everyone dashed back downstairs, flinging open the front door and hurrying out onto the driveway.

The bushes below the sitting room window were on fire, and sat snugly amongst the flames was the dragon, eying the onlookers with mild interest.

"Oh Merlin," Remus mumbled, "half the neighbourhood is going to see it..."

"We need to trap it..." Dora mused, frowning deeply as the dragon idly stretched its wings, and George too frowned for a long moment before deciding:

"I have an idea...stay here and get ready to obliterate it!" And with that he told Teddy and Carrie to follow him back inside, leaving Remus and Dora to eye the dragon wearily.

"Well," Remus mused dully as another green leaf burst into flames, "it could be worse."

"Could it?" his wife wondered, sounding disbelieving. "Our entire kitchen is trashed, there's a massive gaping hole in the back window, the tree out back is all singed, the neighbours now think I've given birth to some sort of devil child and people are going to be showing up for Al's birthday in a matter of hours!"

There was a long pause and Dora felt oddly satisfied by Remus' apparent inability to respond, only for the werewolf to suggest:

"At least it didn't get as far as our bedroom. It's nice to think the most recently decorated part of the house hasn't been burnt to a cinder, don't you think?"

"I suppose..." Dora agreed half-heartedly, only to cheer up a little as, as it often did when chaos descended upon the Lupin household, talk turned mundane.

"It was good of Mum, wasn't it? To make those curtains...they look very nice..."

"Yes, very nice indeed."

"Better than the ones I sewed...nice and...you know..."

"Not crooked?"

"Yes."

"We'll have to send her some chocolates or something to say thank you..."

"Yes, we shall..."

At that precise moment the window of the master bedroom above was thrown wide open and as their gazes snapped up to look to see George leaning out of the window, looking down at the dragon below, Dora found herself wondering:

"Remus?"

"Dora...?"

"Those new curtains..."

"Yes?"

Dora raised a hand to point at the distinctly bare-looking window to ask:

"Where _are_ those new curtains, Remus?"

As he stared up at the window, Remus found himself uttering:

"Um..."

"NOW!" George's voice shouted from with the bedroom, and out on the driveway Remus and Dora watched in dull resignation as the brand new curtains were flung out of The window, landing atop the bushes where they smothered the fire with a scorching hiss, burying the startled dragon underneath.  
"QUICK!" George shouted to the couple outside as Dora's hair brightened to the most vivid of reds, her hands balling into such tight fists that the wand in her hand might just have snapped "STUN IT!"

"I HATE YOU, GEORGE WEASLEY!" Dora shrieked back, ignoring his instructions entirely as the dragon struggled to free itself from the flaming material with a high-pitched screech.

"STUN IT, STUN IT!" George bellowed, but Dora merely thundered:

"I'LL BLOODY WELL STUN YOU IN A MINUTE!"

At that precise moment the dragon managed to claw itself half-free from its little prison, and Remus reached to grab hold of Dora's hand, raising her wand to point at it.  
"Dora...!"

Teeth gritted in fury, Dora finally consented to uttering a spell and it shot forward, striking the dragon square in the chest, throwing its suddenly limp form up into the air...

...just as the door to the neighbouring house was pulled open, only for Mrs. Gregson to freeze, grasp upon the rubbish bag in her hand going limp as the mechanical creature crash-landed upon the driveway in front of her.

"Oh for the love of Merlin..." George muttered as the muggle woman's gaze shot up to look over at Remus and Dora, the latter of whom had promptly dropped her wand to the gravel and attempted to fix a suitably blank expression upon her face.

"Good morning, Mrs. Gregson!" Dora called, folding her arms firmly across her chest, and the muggle pointed a furious finger at the remains of the dragon upon her driveway in order to demand to know:  
"What on EARTH is that?!"

"Um..." Remus mumbled, scrabbling around in his mind for some sort of reasonable explanation, only for Dora to mutter:  
"Oh bugger this for a game of Quidditch!"

And with that the witch offered the muggle a bright smile and informed her neighbour frankly:  
"It's a magically enchanted, fire breathing mechanical dragon, Mrs. Gregson."

Mrs. Gregson's eyes widened in complete and utter confusion as Remus reached to press a resigned hand to his eyes, and after a pause that seemed to last a lifetime, the muggle managed to utter:  
"A...a _what_?!"

And as her husband found himself musing that he hoped the court summons didn't arrive too early so as to spoil Albus' birthday party, Dora sighed irritably, giving her head a toss as she muttered:

"_Honestly_! _Muggles_!"

**Finish.**


End file.
